Today... F is for Forever.
I typed 'Forever' in to search and sifted through the usual loveydovey stuff, until I came across something a bit more, er, interesting. The store called How to Seduce Women in SL (+RL). I must say, when I landed, I laughed.
In search is says "The Secrets of Seduction. How to Seduce Women in SL + RL. Tools for seduction. The ultimate book about seduction in Second Life. Change your dating life forever!" There's only five items in the store. Now I'm a woman - its gonna take a bit more than this to change your life forever.
And I tell ya, spending 599L on a Love Bear is not the way to do it. And if your performance only lasts 70 seconds, and you call that long, then no Seduction book is going to help you.
I was a little interested in this 99L Hud, but then I thought "If you're trying to seduce someone, anonymous comments in chat ain't gonna do it".I didn't buy it. Maybe I should. It could be fun.
The one useful item it the Face Animator. If you're a blogger. I bought it to see if it was any different to the 34283787 I have already, and no... its not. Its a Yadni - of which I own already. Grr face.
I guess this poster is here for when you've given up trying to seduce a woman and your needing help of another kind...
The main item in the store, is the actual book. At 1998L this is quite the bargain.
That's me, laughing hysterically. I clicked on it and got the free first chapter (and I'm yet to receive my free Newsletter), and attempted a bit of serious investigative journalism by reading it.
It didn't give any hints or tips. The first chapter is pure hype for the book. It listed the chapters of the book, and I've added my own Bananahints for you to save you some cash...
• Why SL can really trigger real emotions - Cause we're actually humans behind here. Honest.
• General Mindsets - The reasons why women are on SL vary just as much as the mens reasons. Only the percentages change.
• Your Profile - Its a hysterical insight in to a persons intelligence. Or lack thereof. Type something that expresses who you are and try not to come across as a dick.
• Your SL Home - You don't need one. If you have one, fine. Decorate it as you wish. We don't care. Once we're with you, hand over the keys and we'll redecorate anyway. Its why we read blogs and do all those hunts.
• How to start a conversation - "Hello" is good; quickly followed by a second sentence, or we're likely to move on.
• Whom to talk to - Anyone and everyone. An avatar may not reflect anything at all about the person behind the screen.
• Where to initiate a conversation - Anywhere. We shop lots. Try there.
• How to make her start to talk to you - that's where the second sentence comes in. Make it a question. If she replies with more than three words, and none of them start with F and O, then things are looking promising.
• How to keep a conversation rolling - Third sentences are great for this. And then hopefully more will come. If they don't, move on and stop wasting everyone's time.
• Topics that create attraction - If she's not interested in your topics, and you're not interested in hers, then stop trying. If I tell you here, then you'll only be typing what someone else wants to hear and you'll both be miserable in the end.
• Conversation when the first initial connection is established - Be yourself. See above.
• How to pick up a conversation again - "Hey - you've you been? Wanna hang out?"
• Creating stronger attraction - Me tarzan, you Jane. Srsly, this will happen naturally. You just have to get past all the previous steps.
• Conversation Nuggets - I love conversation, and I love nuggets. Pass the sweet'n'sour sauce please! Be careful, as some ladyavatars have a waist so skinny that no nuggets will make it past her upper intestines.
• Flirt techniques that you can use in every interaction - Enthusiasm and interest. Listen and be positive. Simple as that.
• The man women are looking for, your personality - We're looking for someone that doesn't lie, cheat or steal. Hopefully your personality will show that you have none of these attributes. If so, that LM at the store will come in handy. Literally.
• Avatar Look - If she's in to you just because of how your avatar looks, then try an ascertain if she's admiring your work, or wallet, or if she's shallow enough to only like a cute avatar. If you're both just looking for an SL relationship, then its time you spruced up your bruce. Get a good skin and at least one outfit. Here's a tip - at the next FLF, wait at a spot and ask someone to (genuinely) help you go shopping for a look. You'll be fighting off the ladies. (Be warned, most will end up just being friends - but its worth a shot, right? Remember, friends have friends. wink wink)
• Body Language - Get an AO.
• Genitals - You wont need one til you need one. And even then, you still may not need one. And if you must, get one that color matches. Girls run when they see one that looks like its been tied off with a rubberband for some time. Only get a high-tech one if you're planning to us it frequently, and if you're making one, at least try and make it look semi-realistic. Not that we zoom in or anything...
• What to do together in SL - Pretty much everything that you do without each other, except poseballs are more fun.
• How to lead over to physical contact - Lean over.
• How to get her into bed - Buy one and ask her to click on the girl poseball.
• Having Sex in SL - Get on the boy poseball.
• When to do something really nice - All the time. Every day. Never stop. The moment you stop, we wonder if somethings wrong... and thats never a good sign.
• Meeting in RL - Establish this at the start. Why is this chapter so late in the game?
• Conclusion + Final Thoughts - If you want to spend 2kL on a book that'll tell you something may not already know, then all the luck to you.
• Why SL can really trigger real emotions - Cause we're actually humans behind here. Honest.
• General Mindsets - The reasons why women are on SL vary just as much as the mens reasons. Only the percentages change.
• Your Profile - Its a hysterical insight in to a persons intelligence. Or lack thereof. Type something that expresses who you are and try not to come across as a dick.
• Your SL Home - You don't need one. If you have one, fine. Decorate it as you wish. We don't care. Once we're with you, hand over the keys and we'll redecorate anyway. Its why we read blogs and do all those hunts.
• How to start a conversation - "Hello" is good; quickly followed by a second sentence, or we're likely to move on.
• Whom to talk to - Anyone and everyone. An avatar may not reflect anything at all about the person behind the screen.
• Where to initiate a conversation - Anywhere. We shop lots. Try there.
• How to make her start to talk to you - that's where the second sentence comes in. Make it a question. If she replies with more than three words, and none of them start with F and O, then things are looking promising.
• How to keep a conversation rolling - Third sentences are great for this. And then hopefully more will come. If they don't, move on and stop wasting everyone's time.
• Topics that create attraction - If she's not interested in your topics, and you're not interested in hers, then stop trying. If I tell you here, then you'll only be typing what someone else wants to hear and you'll both be miserable in the end.
• Conversation when the first initial connection is established - Be yourself. See above.
• How to pick up a conversation again - "Hey - you've you been? Wanna hang out?"
• Creating stronger attraction - Me tarzan, you Jane. Srsly, this will happen naturally. You just have to get past all the previous steps.
• Conversation Nuggets - I love conversation, and I love nuggets. Pass the sweet'n'sour sauce please! Be careful, as some ladyavatars have a waist so skinny that no nuggets will make it past her upper intestines.
• Flirt techniques that you can use in every interaction - Enthusiasm and interest. Listen and be positive. Simple as that.
• The man women are looking for, your personality - We're looking for someone that doesn't lie, cheat or steal. Hopefully your personality will show that you have none of these attributes. If so, that LM at the store will come in handy. Literally.
• Avatar Look - If she's in to you just because of how your avatar looks, then try an ascertain if she's admiring your work, or wallet, or if she's shallow enough to only like a cute avatar. If you're both just looking for an SL relationship, then its time you spruced up your bruce. Get a good skin and at least one outfit. Here's a tip - at the next FLF, wait at a spot and ask someone to (genuinely) help you go shopping for a look. You'll be fighting off the ladies. (Be warned, most will end up just being friends - but its worth a shot, right? Remember, friends have friends. wink wink)
• Body Language - Get an AO.
• Genitals - You wont need one til you need one. And even then, you still may not need one. And if you must, get one that color matches. Girls run when they see one that looks like its been tied off with a rubberband for some time. Only get a high-tech one if you're planning to us it frequently, and if you're making one, at least try and make it look semi-realistic. Not that we zoom in or anything...
• What to do together in SL - Pretty much everything that you do without each other, except poseballs are more fun.
• How to lead over to physical contact - Lean over.
• How to get her into bed - Buy one and ask her to click on the girl poseball.
• Having Sex in SL - Get on the boy poseball.
• When to do something really nice - All the time. Every day. Never stop. The moment you stop, we wonder if somethings wrong... and thats never a good sign.
• Meeting in RL - Establish this at the start. Why is this chapter so late in the game?
• Conclusion + Final Thoughts - If you want to spend 2kL on a book that'll tell you something may not already know, then all the luck to you.
6 peeps had something to say:
ZOMG - this was such a fun read! I am really enjoying your trip through the alphabet!
Hey sweets! This is great stuff, great stuff! I recommend submitting it to a magazine or paper. BTW, can you suggest a good face animator? I got a freebie one but it (surprise!) doesn't work.
I flick between three now - the one posted here is good (but probably free somewhere else, lol). I have a Hanuata one, but find the graphics are too small. When I log in later, I'll get the name of the one I use all the time. (I'll send you an IM - or if its copy, I'll send you it!)
Maybe I'll make a post about them. lol.
It's places like this that make me think-really you PAY money to own a store like that LOL.
Ahh you can also add that the men don't need to keep the genitals on when they are not using it. LOL Ctrl-shift-R and you can still see it hiding ;)
This is the funniest post that I have seen. Fantastic tips. I'm still smiling and you are completely right.
Hugs!
Love it. I´ll copy it to an NC and give it to every bloke i bump into =))
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